The Sailor

Everyday I wake up I throw myself into the fire
Hoping I could be reborn in your heart again
But I still don't see your face, or hear your voice
I lived a double life! One with you and one without you
One with me waking up next to you every morning, the other with me waking up wrapping my arms around myself
I can't tell which is more real.
Sometimes I wonder why I chose to become a sailor, when I lost my compass and my way in your eyes.
I always complained I have no wings so how could I fly to you! You gave me wings and I flew into the wall. I wanted to get up but I feared my wings will break even more before I could attempt any further. I did not have enough trust so I distracted myself with petty things. I thought I could escape the possible pain. But when you finally left, the agony of regret hit me like a thousand walls.
Now, I would break every wing just to see you again. I've lost every fear known to man, but then I lost you also.