Effective & Ineffective Approaches to Feeling Competent

Many people take an ineffective approach to feeling competent. Some of these are
1) Putting others down (focus others)
2) Trying to control people, things and situations (focus others)
3) Boasting about oneself and one's achievements  (focus self)
4) Feeling superior to others (focus self)

Others take a more effective approach of feeling competent

1) Seeking purpose and meaning in their work and in their life (focus self)
2) Giving, serving and helping others and society (focus others)

Effective approaches are more stable, promote well-being and quality of life and are generally more productive approaches to attaining life goals, and less dependent on external factors such as recognition and acceptance.